Aussiehalley - Halley Down Under

lists inspired by the Smithsonian American Art Museum and Portrait Gallery yesterday

States of being:

I was not filled with love for my fellow being yesterday. For them, I was filled with bewilderment or wonder or agitation, depending on the given being. But not love.

I *was* filled with love for the image, for concept, for vision, for artifact, for beauty, for the grotesque, for the shocking, for intertextuality, for the anomalous, and for the humourous. In a state of bifurcated reality, I was filled with the art and its execution.

Corner you must visit:
American Impressionists and the Gilded Age. Second floor, NE(?) corner.
Go. Now.


Heard and overheard:

in front of a photo of Tom Wolfe in a small gallery
WOMAN IN GREEN SWEATSHIRT: Who is that?
WOMAN IN TAPERED JEANS: Oh, I think he's a writer.
stopping in front of the three other people looking at the side wall
GREENIE: Oh, look at his hands!
(a photo of Bret Farve)
TAPERED: But you can't see his face. It's all fuzzy.
GREENIE: I know. What's the point of the picture if you can't see his face?


in a Walt Whitman gallery
Alexis! Alexis! Where are you? Stop running around!
in the Presidency gallery
Alexis! Stop it! Alexis!
in graphic arts
Alexis! What have I told you! Alexis! Come back here!

(I was very close to tripping Alexis the next time she ran past. Or the time after that. But I hadn't seen the rest of the exhibits I was interested in and did not want to be thrown out - although, I'm not sure I wouldn't have been given some parting consolation prizes...)


in a Gilded Age gallery, in front of a gold-leaf baby grand piano, with a pastoral scene painted inside the lid
Girl 1: You know Teddy Roosevelt had one of these.
Girl 2: Yeah, you really like him.
Girl 1: Yeah, he did a lot in the arts.
pause
Girl 1: Ommm! AHHHHH! Ahhh. ENHHHHHHHHH. AHwwwww!
Girl 2: What are you doing?!
Girl 1: I'm trying to make it play, to make the strings vibrate.
Girl 2: Oh.
Both: Ommm! AHHHHH! Ahhh. ENHHHHHHHHH. AHwwwww!
It's not working. Girl 2 stops.
Girl 2: You remind me of Finding Nemo, when Dory thinks she can speak whale. (She demonstrates.)
I turn the other way, so they can't see me laughing.


in a gallery with four life-size heads of portraitists, hanging at their respective heights and a woman (full body, over-sized large head mask) watching from across the room (the artist and critic)
WOMAN: *That* is a big head!
MAN: Yeah, let's go over here. (pointing out the door)
WOMAN: It's like she's staring right at you! Like she's about to talk to you!
MAN: Yeah. Okay. (walking out the door)
WOMAN: (to no one) No, but it's like she's looking right at you. Wow.
Now that I think of it, there were a lot of disembodied heads. Trendwatchers, there ya go. I would say I'm giving you a heads up, but I won't.


in "An Impressionist Sensibility" exhibition gallery
Two guards walk toward me, talking, not looking. They stop in front of me, one standing right next to me. I stop pretending I don't see them and look at the one who almost ran into me.
GUARD: Oh, sorry!
ME: Yeah, it looked like you were coming over to tell me something.
GUARD: (under his breath as they walk away) Oh, I have something to tell you...
later, on the other side of the room, he walks over. Oh, no. Please don't.
He starts chit-chatting.
GUARD: You know, working here has given me an appreciation for art now. I never really cared about it before, but now I look at all these paintings and it's really hard to do this. I could try, but I couldn't do it.
ME: Yep, they're good.
I'm being polite, but not really talking. I like being at art museums by myself. I like what happens in my head. I like going at my own pace. I don't go to chit-chat with strangers. I definitely don't go to get picked up.
GUARD: (in mid-other-sentence) I'm not bothering you, am I? I don't want to bother you.
ME: (staring straight ahead the whole time.) No. You're fine.
Because it's rude to say, Why, yes! Yes, you are bothering me. Please go away now. I have no interest in this dance.
GUARD: Because, you know, before, when I saw you, I thought to myself, damn, that is a fine looking woman. That is one attractive woman. And I said to myself, I should go over and talk to her, and tell her. I wasn't going to, but then I decided to come over and tell you.
ME: Thanks. staring straight ahead.
GUARD: No, I mean, you know when you see a woman with a face like that, you gotta come over.
ME: Thanks.
GUARD: I mean, yeah, I had to tell you that I think you're pretty cute.
This isn't to say I don't talk to random people all the time. I do. And random people start conversations with me all the time. All the time. I must have "one of those faces". But there is a difference between talking and continuing to flirt with someone who clearly isn't reciprocating.
GUARD: Yeah, I just have say I think you look really nice and you're cute.
ME: Thanks. Yeah, my girlfriend thinks I'm pretty cute, too.
(Pause.)
Nothing like pulling out a fake girlfriend to end uncomfortable situations.
GUARD: No!? For real?
ME: Yeah.
GUARD: For real?
ME: Yeah.
GUARD: Aww, man. No way!
ME: Yeah.
GUARD: Awright then. I just thought I'd say something.
ME: Thanks.

posted by Halley @ 10:20 PM